The Cornish Retribution : a gripping psychological drama Page 7

  ‘Mum, he genuinely cares about you. He told me last week how much he regretted hurting you all those years ago and wants to do something to make amends.’

  ‘The only person he cares about is himself. He told Penny that he never loved anyone like he loved me and wants me back. Didn’t know that, did you? Worming his way into my property would be a very big step along those lines. He wants me to feel beholden to him. Grateful. And how do you think he’d want me to show that gratitude? Have a guess.’

  ‘But then, as I said on the beach that day, can you believe everything she says? You told me that she puts up with his affairs, makes him out to be this controlling ogre. But what if he isn’t? What if he doesn’t have affairs. What if he genuinely cares about you – just as friends. Or maybe more than that. Maybe he does still love you, I don’t know. But you can bet Penny’s just jealous to death, terrified that he’ll fall for you and so she’s trying to make sure you keep away.’

  ‘He’s done a right number on you, has our Dan. You’ve fallen for his blarney, hook line and sinker.’ Just like I always did. I drain what’s left in my cup, try to keep my cool.

  Helena carries on regardless. ‘You’re in control. Mum. You. Even if he does still carry a torch, you don’t have to light it for him. Take his money, everything will be drawn up legally – get Robert’s brother, what’s-his-name, to do it, then you’ll be sure. Run the business, don’t run it. Whatever. But his investment in this place will mean you don’t have to leave. You can carry on with your writing with no financial worries. I’ll be here for you if you think he’s coming on too strong.’ She puts her hand on my arm. ‘At least think about it… please, Mum. You’d be so miserable if you had to say goodbye to your home.’

  Miserable wasn’t the right word. I’d be utterly devastated. Adam is here. His essence lives in the walls, the floors, the fabric of the building. Sometimes his laughter can be heard on the breeze outside as I sit quietly on the balcony. If I really concentrate, I can feel his arms wrapped around me in the bed we’d shared. If I got a new place there’d be no sign of him. He’d be truly gone. On a bad day, sometimes I really have to concentrate to even see his face, so what would it be like if I left everything we’d shared behind? Every day would be a bad day. Bad days lead down dark roads. The kind of roads you need pills for. The pills I swore I’d never go back to.

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Will you think about it?’

  Would I? Thinking wasn’t doing, was it? Thinking wasn’t making any rash decisions. And as Helena said, I was in control. Just because Dan may or may not have romantic notions about me, doesn’t mean that it has anything to do with me. His feelings were his own concern. It would be a business venture and that would be it. Robert’s brother, William, was a solicitor and an old friend. He’d have my interests at heart.

  ‘Mum?’ Helena asks again, her eyes imploring.

  ‘Okay. I’ll think about it.’

  Hard to believe that a month ago felt like the end of the world. July feels like a new start. A start not without its worries, after all, as Dan now owns twenty-five per cent of the property, but I have two hundred thousand pounds in the bank. This means that all my writing dreams are now back on track, and I’m even considering doing a few tutorials when the bungalow retreat is built. It’s a new challenge and I could do with one. As long as Dan keeps his distance, all will be perfect.

  I push the last bit of bacon from my breakfast onto a slice of toast and consider Dan. So far, he’s been very business-like and well behaved. Penny, however, hasn’t been in touch, and every time I’ve asked after her, Dan’s been evasive. Said she was busy. In the end, Penny refused to give him the money from her account, so he had to abandon one or two of his other investments to complete the deal. This had not pleased him in the least. Perhaps they’d had a huge row about it all and Penny was washing her hands of everything. In the end I don’t give a damn, it’s time to put worries in the past and concentrate on the future. If Penny wants to stay with a man who she says is cheating on her and controlling, then that’s her look out. We had been friends once, and I hoped we could be again, but things change. People change.

  William had made a fair and good deal that had protected me and my future assets. Dan had to put his name to an agreement where if anything should happen to him or Penny, there wouldn’t be a hundred relatives crawling out of the woodwork demanding a piece of my pie. When I’m gone, the house will be Helena and Jack’s, less twenty-five per cent, of course, when it’s sold. That would go to Dan and Penny if they survived her. There was no way she’d be forced to sell the house either, so all looked set fair for the foreseeable.

  Today is the day I aim to get back on track with the writing. Until this morning I hadn’t felt like it. But now the dust has settled on the deal I believe I can try to get back to normal. Okay, more tea, a packet of biscuits just in case and the laptop. On the way into the kitchen, the phone rings in the hallway. Damn. That’s all I need. To my surprise, it’s Penny, though I have to strain my ears to make sense of what she’s saying through her hiccupping sobs.

  ‘Penny, take a few deep breaths and have a drink of water. You’re not making sense, love.’

  There’s the sound of water running and then a few seconds later, Penny comes back on the line. ‘Dan’s threatened to leave me.’ Her voice is wobbly but at least she’s coherent now.

  ‘Why? What’s happened?’ I’m sympathetic, but part of me thinks it might be just as well.

  ‘I…’ There’s another sob. ‘I asked him if he still loved you and he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Then he said that I didn’t love him because I refused to give him my parents’ money to put into the retreat.’

  I roll my eyes at my reflection in the living room mirror and wonder what to say next. ‘I’m sorry to hear that, Penny. What did you say?’

  ‘I said that I adored him, and why did he think that I’d stayed with him all these years if I didn’t? I mentioned all the women he’d had, all the tricks he’d pulled, how he’d stopped me ever having the chance to be a m-m-mother.’

  I sigh, flop down on the sofa. ‘Yes, you’d have to adore him to put up with all that.’

  ‘Yeah. But then he says that any woman worth their salt would have left him years ago.’ Penny’s voice is still heavy with emotion, but it’s anger this time. ‘He said that he despised me for being weak, spineless. Allowing him to do all those things and just behaving like a little lapdog. But then when it mattered, I wouldn’t give him the money. And it really got to me when he said, “Poor, sad old cow. Trying to assert your control over me with that pot of money. A bit late to try to grow a pair.” Then he slapped me!’

  Penny descends into a fresh bout of sobbing and I have no clue how to stop it. What a bastard! Physical violence too, how can she stand it? ‘Oh Penny, I can’t believe he hit you – and what an awful thing to say. I’m so sorry, Pen.’ I raise my voice over her sobs to make myself heard. Lame, but what else is there?

  ‘Vile,’ Penny spits and then calms down a little. ‘He’s a real bastard when he wants to be. I told him there was no way I’d ever leave him because I love him so much. Didn’t he see that? Even though he hit me – mind you, he hasn’t done that for years.’ Oh well that’s okay then. ‘Then I explained that I didn’t give him the money because I was worried he was after you.’ I shake my head and closed my eyes. The poor woman is torturing herself unnecessarily. ‘He just snorted at that and so I asked if now, because he’d got stakes in your place, he’d be seeing you more often, and would he try to get back with you?’

  Okay, enough. ‘Look, Penny, no matter if Dan does have notions in that regard, there’s no way that I’d encourage it. As I keep saying, I have no interest in him whatsoever. I needed the money, yes, and now I have it. We’ve got a business arrangement and that’s all.’

  ‘I know, you keep saying that. But he can be very persuasive, you know.’ There’s a deep sigh on the line. ‘But the
n I don’t expect you to understand. Until you lost your lovely husband, everything in your life was wonderful. You have a daughter and grandchild to get you through the bad times. You’ve come out the other end stronger and determined to make a life for yourself. I’m just not like you.’

  How dare she just assume I’m out the other end. In fact, what the fuck does that even mean? Before I can think twice, I say, ‘I haven’t just sailed through, you know. And I think I still have a bit of a way to go. When I lost Adam, my world fell apart. Yes, I had my daughter, but she was grieving too. There’s only so much you can share. Too much and you both go under, sink into the black hole that Adam left. It nearly swallowed me up. In the end I turned to sleeping pills and antidepressants. Booze too, anything to stop the pain, blot out reality…’ My voice trails off. Why the hell did I just share this? I’d finished with all that months ago, why go back there? Penny doesn’t need to know.

  ‘Oh, so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to suggest that it had been easy.’ A pause. ‘So are you still on the pills and–’

  ‘No. I came off them all ages ago. I still have a drink, but so does everyone.’ I want to minimise the damage my blabbermouth has done. ‘You won’t tell anyone will you? About the tablets…’

  ‘Of course not. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of.’

  I cringe. ‘I know that. It’s just that it reminds me of when I was at my lowest.’ I swallow. ‘There were a few times that I thought I wouldn’t make it.’ More than a few. And there I go again giving out more information than is required.

  ‘Your secret’s safe with me.’ Great, now she thinks she’s my conspirator. ‘Just like mine is safe with you.’

  ‘Secret?’

  ‘Yeah, what I told you about him threatening to leave me. If he ever did there’d be no amount of pills that would help me. As I said before, I can’t live without him.’

  This again – how dramatic. ‘I’m sure you’d come to terms with it in the end. I’ve had to go on without Adam.’ I tried to make that sound sympathetic, but I’ve had enough of Penny for now. And to be honest, Dan’s right. She is spineless – his lapdog, cringing when he slaps her, licking his hand when he’s nice.

  ‘Hmm. Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to try to make it up with Dan when he gets in. Then we’ll come down to you soon, have a good catch up. If he sees that I’m not worried about him and you, then things will be better I’m sure.’

  Oh joy, a catch up. Can’t wait. ‘Yes, good idea.’

  ‘Speak soon, Sam. Bye.’

  The positive mood I had just before the phone call has buggered off. So much for getting down to writing. On the other hand, some of this pent-up frustration and grumpiness could be worked off by plotting a murder. The murder scene isn’t planned for another few chapters, but I think I’ll bring it forward. I can do the research at least. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. A good murder always cheers me up.

  9

  The first dinner party in this house without Adam will feel odd, but life must go on. My feelings are mixed though. Despite the empty space at the table, and in my heart, part of me is happy that tonight the house will be full of chatter and laughter once more. I pull out a kitchen chair and carefully lift the best crockery down from the top shelf. Daft really. Adam always used to say I should use it every day, but then when we had guests it wouldn’t feel special I’d told him. A pang of longing to hear him say that again brings moisture to my eyes and I concentrate on the task at hand.

  Guests tonight will include Jack and his new girlfriend, Felicity, who he met at university, Naomi, my old library boss, Helena, Carl and little Adam – though he’ll probably be asleep for most of it – and Penny and Dan. The latter had invited himself and his wife when he heard about my intention to have a dinner party when they visited last week. Penny hadn’t been too sure, but at the time I couldn’t think of an excuse to decline them fast enough. Apart from saying that it was rude to invite yourself anywhere. Given that would make me rude, I’d said they would be welcome. When will I ever learn?

  Thinking about it, though, Penny had been more like she used to be when they’d popped over for coffee last week and Dan had been as charming as ever, though not flirty which was a relief. When he’d popped to the loo, I’d asked Penny how things were between them and she’d said much better. After he’d returned from work the day Penny had phoned me, she’d apologised to him and admitted she was overreacting about him and me. She’d promised to back off and trust him. He’d apparently said he’d stay with her as long as she stuck to her word. Everything in the garden for now was lovely. I’d believe it when I saw it.

  I chop onions for the lasagne and wonder if the largest dish will be big enough for eight adults and a toddler. Perhaps I should do an extra one in a small dish. Then I wonder if Felicity likes lasagne, I’d never even thought to ask my son if she ate meat. Oh God, what could I give her in case she was a veggie? I go to the fridge and am uninspired by the alternative my brain comes up with. A veggie frittata and salad? It would have to do. No point in getting anxious about something that might never happen. Jack had only ever brought one girl home and that was when he was a sixth-former. Julianna, I seem to remember. That dinner had been a disaster, as the girl had been so nervous she’d been practically mute. Adam had tried his best to joke with her and make conversation, Helena had too, but Julianna had just smiled and blushed scarlet. Hopefully Felicity wouldn’t be the same. Even if she was, the others would take up the slack – Dan in particular was no shrinking violet.

  All the prep done, and the table laid, I’m in the bedroom agonising over my outfit. What shall I go for, smart casual or more dressy? Smart casual, I think. Then I think why the hell am I getting so worked up about it all. It’s only a dinner party. Yes, I want to make a good first impression on Felicity for Jack’s sake, but there’s no point in getting screwed up over it.

  Eventually I’m decided on black trousers and a red figure-hugging top, I look at my reflection in the cheval mirror. Yes, I’ll do. I’ve twisted my glossy dark curls into a chignon and carefully applied make-up. Not bad for a woman nearing her forty-sixth birthday. Suddenly the nerves are back twisting my stomach tighter than the chignon. It’s because Adam’s not at my side. If he were here, he’d be chilling the wine, letting the red breathe, checking they had beer too, pottering about asking me if I needed help. I watch my eyes fill with an ocean of tears, but I’m determined not to let them fall. I snatch the clip from my hair and shake it loose. Perhaps the rest of me will follow suit.

  Helena, Carl and Adam are the first to arrive and Helena lends a hand while Carl watches Peppa Pig with Adam. Naomi arrives next and talks non-stop about anything and everything while I’m trying to concentrate on making sure the garlic bread isn’t burning. Naomi is lovely, but she takes no prisoners. I’ve forgiven her for telling Helena about my money worries, because she hadn’t meant it maliciously. That’s what Naomi’s like; blunt, and straight to the point. Naomi has been divorced about six months and is still single. I invited her after Dan invited himself and Penny, to make me not having a partner less obvious. Stupid really. What difference did it make?

  Good, everything is ready, and the glass of wine Helena poured earlier for me is helping to relax the knot in my tummy. Naomi’s conversation is now less machine-gun attack, due to her downing her own glass in less than five minutes, I guess. Perhaps she’s nervous too. And darling Adam is holding court from his high chair. Just Jack, Felicity, Dan and Penny to come now. As if on cue, the doorbell jangles and all four come in together behind Carl who’d let them in. Jack hurries over and gives me a big kiss on the cheek and swings me round, much to my embarrassment. Felicity is introduced – a tall willowy blonde with model good looks. She’s bubbly and smiley, and I like her immediately. Dan and Penny step forward for a hug too. Hers is warm, his is brief and rigid. He barely looks me in the eye; instead he turns on the charm and takes over from Adam in the holding court stakes.

  At the table, I’m reliev
ed that Felicity isn’t vegetarian, and the atmosphere is relaxed. Any worries about awkwardness amongst the very different guests are unfounded. Adam is sleeping soundly in my bedroom and Helena and Carl are looking into each other’s eyes now and then, like a couple of teenagers. It’s nice to see that they are so much in love still.

  Everyone else seems to be getting along well, though I keep noticing Jack giving Dan side eyes and whispering to a giggling Felicity when Dan says something a bit pompous… which is often. I’ve also noticed Naomi’s reaction to Dan and it’s much more favourable than my son’s. Something else for Penny to fret about.

  I can’t help noticing how handsome her husband looks tonight, however. He’s wearing a green shirt which is his colour, and he’s acquired a light tan that makes his smile even more dazzling. His mother was Spanish, I remember, and he looks every inch the dashing Mediterranean lover tonight. Dan catches me staring and he gives a knowing smile. I avert my eyes, mortified. What the hell am I thinking? I know what a shit he is and all the stuff I’ve said to Penny about not wanting him is true, so I need to get my libido in check. That’s all it is, lust. At least I know I still have functioning parts of my anatomy that have been dormant for some time. That thought makes me snort into my wine which I quickly disguise as a cough.

  ‘More drinks for anyone?’ I say during a lull in conversation. If I keep the drinks flowing, the happy atmosphere should continue while I’m busy. The starters are over, and I need to get the lasagne from the oven, the salad from the fridge, and generally faff about being the hostess with the mostest. I don’t want to disturb Helena and Carl by asking for help either.

  ‘I’ll see to the drinks, you’ve enough to do, Sam,’ Dan says and tops up Naomi’s glass. ‘I’ll get another bottle.’ He winks at Naomi and says to me, ‘In the kitchen?’